English being my second language, I've always struggled on understanding an essay and writing an essay. Coming from a small island, our school standards are very low and not once did we ever learn and write an essay. Beginning of my High School year, my family and I moved here for better education. With this doing so, it was a great transit for me especially in all of my classes. After years of hard work I became to understand how to write an essay, what's in an essay (thesis, introduction, body, and conclusion), and what's the point of writing an essay. After graduating from high school, I took a year off and went back home (Palau). With this long term off of school, my knowledge on writing a good essay started to fade away. I am now attending summer classes at Highline Community College and taking Writing 101.
With little knowledge stuck in my head, I was introduced to a whole new way of writing an essay and it is the “They Say, I Say” method. With this new concept introduced to me, I had a difficult time balancing and showing evidence and support on my “They Say and I say.” For example, in my essay “Personal Space,” most of what I wrote was “They Say” instead of a mix of “They Say, I Say.” For instance, I always start a new paragraph with “According to the Silicon Valley Blogger in Frugality, Real Estate, there are many advantages to living in a small home,” and, “Writing in the BBC NEWS/MAGAZINE, Sean Coughlan writes that...” With the “They Say” new to me, I get so focused on it I forget about my own voice (“I Say“).
Another struggle that I’ve always come across is grammar and self-confidence. English not being my native tongue, my sentences tend to be very simple. And due to lack of self-confidence, it holds me down from being open minded and afraid to write freely. Lack of self-confidence on my work makes me afraid that the readers won’t get what I’m writing. With this, I tend to over write. For example, “Everyday life a person associates with either family members, friends, or co-workers and in some cases all of them, but there comes a point in life where a person needs to have his or her own personal space to reflect on his or her well being.” Instead of writing it short and simple, I over write and it can get confusing to the readers.
Besides my weaknesses, I also have some strengths. One of my strengths is that instead of following other students on writing on the same view of the topic, I chose a different view which is eye catching to the readers. For example, on our Essay number 2, our instructor assigned our main topic to be about home and human rights. Most of the other students were focusing on criminals and how they should be punished and what not. Oppose to that, I chose a different route and went with “False Accusations.” With my view different from everybody else it definitely got their attention. It was something different for them to read. Another strength that I have come to obtain is to show examples that support my arguments about “False Accusations.” Couple examples that I used to support my arguments and got the readers hooked are: Michael Jackson and man imprisoned even though DNA proved they were innocent. With my essay different than theirs, it opened up their eyes to a different side of the view.
During this summer quarter I have come to learn many different ways and style on writing an essay. I have also come to realize a lot of my weaknesses and as I move forth to the next level of writing, I will improve my writing skills. And as I move to a higher level of writing, I will bring with me the knowledge that I have learned in this class to help my writing be more concise and effective.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
PORTFOLIO: ESSAY 2 "FALSE ACCUSATIONS WHICH DESTROY'S A MAN'S LIFE"
False accusations come in many forms whether we want to believe it or not. People have been pointed at for doing something that they have never done because of the way society judges them by what they wear, what they look like, how they talk and walk and most all their ethnicity or race. False accusations come with poor judgment that impairs a person’s human right in this country. One that I will stress most on the falsely accused would pertain to men being accused for rape and sexual assault against women.
There has been credible amount of information that men all over have been accused for crimes they didn’t commit. Statistics show that 10,375 men are suspects yet 15,562 men were imprisoned mostly of false accusations. 51,431 women are felons but not a single woman was imprisoned. Why is it that women get away so easily for lying and pointing a finger at someone they’ve just saw for the first time. How can they sleep at night knowing they’ve put an innocent life behind bars and taking away their every right to live their life? How can someone let them get away with an, “I apologize attitude with tears streaking down their face” and not do something?
There has been DNA testing done to a few people who were innocent yet were convicted and imprisoned. For example, DNA proves that Franklin Lee Smith was innocent after spending 15 years in prison until his death and Kirk Bloodsworth is innocent after 9 years on death row. More men to this day are proven innocent, but still people who work with the Justice System manipulate the whole system refusing to release these men even after DNA has proved their innocence. For example, Natalie Knighting gets only 6 months in jail, while Kevin Greene spent 17 years in prison for "raping" his own wife, until DNA proved that he was innocent. I, myself, can't believe those who work on bringing justice are not working on bringing justice. The justice system ignores what is real to make their job easier which is not fair to those who are innocent. With simple lying words, their human rights are taken away as easy as that. One example I remember seeing on the discovery channel was about this black man who broke into this lady's house, raped her, stabbed her, and left her to die. The lady was able to see the guy and saw that he was black. The lady was sent to the hospital and after recovery the lady went to jail to see which one of the guys did this to her. Having seeing the only black man in that room the lady quickly pointed him out and said that was him. After 50 years of prison, the police finally caught the actual captive. Poor innocent guy who have missed half of his life locked up in jail for what, because the perpetrator was black and he was the only black guy standing in line for her to point the finger. Her saying sorry and crying isn’t going to restore the innocent men’s life because nothing can ever replace it. No money or anything can ever replace what he lost with his life, his family and kids growing up, etc.
A lot of celebrities have gone through this situation, where as it’s all about the money. They have been accused of crimes in the nature of sexual assault and child molestation, because people were after their money. For example, Michael Jackson being friends with Jordan Chandler even though his father, Evan Chandler disapproved. Both father and son later accused Michael Jackson for molestation and wanted to settle it financially and we are talking millions of dollars. With the same situation, Michael Jackson’s own sister, La Toya, claimed that Michael Jackson was pedophile and that she had proof all of which she was prepared to disclose for a fee of $500,000. Again, she claimed that Michael Jackson kidnapped and tried to kill her. The family disowned her and later in years, La Toya finally came forward and said that she was forced by her husband to make these allegations for financial gain. After these false allegations made news, Michael Jackson’s image and music industry declined. His human right was taken away even after proven innocent. Money talks in today’s society and when people see an opportunity to get what they want they will go out of their way to destroy someone so they can be happy.
A lot of men are still in prison for crimes they didn’t commit and yet nothing is being done by the system to mend the issue. Yet the system twists and delays the issue, until a life is ruined or wasted away behind bars. It is not enough to recognize and lament such travesties of our criminal justice system. The people in the system need to prevent future wrongful convictions against the accused and reform the system. Other common factors that lead to wrongful convictions can be of forensic science errors. A law should be enforced to allow the forensic team to test all results twice to avoid error. Correcting this cause will not only protect the innocent from being arrested, but also being harmed by the real perpetrator. Each time a person is wrongfully convicted, it means the real culprit is out there harming another person maybe causing another false accusation. The people who are innocent and were convicted of sex crime face exceptional hardship and severe punishments that impairs who they are. They get a prison term averaging 10 to 20 years in prison, a lifetime registry as a sex offender and possibly a strict lifetime probation. False allegations ruins and scars a persons ability to view life in general and to trust. It takes away their human right and confidence to live their life and blend in with the society because they will always feel like their being watched or judged.
There has been credible amount of information that men all over have been accused for crimes they didn’t commit. Statistics show that 10,375 men are suspects yet 15,562 men were imprisoned mostly of false accusations. 51,431 women are felons but not a single woman was imprisoned. Why is it that women get away so easily for lying and pointing a finger at someone they’ve just saw for the first time. How can they sleep at night knowing they’ve put an innocent life behind bars and taking away their every right to live their life? How can someone let them get away with an, “I apologize attitude with tears streaking down their face” and not do something?
There has been DNA testing done to a few people who were innocent yet were convicted and imprisoned. For example, DNA proves that Franklin Lee Smith was innocent after spending 15 years in prison until his death and Kirk Bloodsworth is innocent after 9 years on death row. More men to this day are proven innocent, but still people who work with the Justice System manipulate the whole system refusing to release these men even after DNA has proved their innocence. For example, Natalie Knighting gets only 6 months in jail, while Kevin Greene spent 17 years in prison for "raping" his own wife, until DNA proved that he was innocent. I, myself, can't believe those who work on bringing justice are not working on bringing justice. The justice system ignores what is real to make their job easier which is not fair to those who are innocent. With simple lying words, their human rights are taken away as easy as that. One example I remember seeing on the discovery channel was about this black man who broke into this lady's house, raped her, stabbed her, and left her to die. The lady was able to see the guy and saw that he was black. The lady was sent to the hospital and after recovery the lady went to jail to see which one of the guys did this to her. Having seeing the only black man in that room the lady quickly pointed him out and said that was him. After 50 years of prison, the police finally caught the actual captive. Poor innocent guy who have missed half of his life locked up in jail for what, because the perpetrator was black and he was the only black guy standing in line for her to point the finger. Her saying sorry and crying isn’t going to restore the innocent men’s life because nothing can ever replace it. No money or anything can ever replace what he lost with his life, his family and kids growing up, etc.
A lot of celebrities have gone through this situation, where as it’s all about the money. They have been accused of crimes in the nature of sexual assault and child molestation, because people were after their money. For example, Michael Jackson being friends with Jordan Chandler even though his father, Evan Chandler disapproved. Both father and son later accused Michael Jackson for molestation and wanted to settle it financially and we are talking millions of dollars. With the same situation, Michael Jackson’s own sister, La Toya, claimed that Michael Jackson was pedophile and that she had proof all of which she was prepared to disclose for a fee of $500,000. Again, she claimed that Michael Jackson kidnapped and tried to kill her. The family disowned her and later in years, La Toya finally came forward and said that she was forced by her husband to make these allegations for financial gain. After these false allegations made news, Michael Jackson’s image and music industry declined. His human right was taken away even after proven innocent. Money talks in today’s society and when people see an opportunity to get what they want they will go out of their way to destroy someone so they can be happy.
A lot of men are still in prison for crimes they didn’t commit and yet nothing is being done by the system to mend the issue. Yet the system twists and delays the issue, until a life is ruined or wasted away behind bars. It is not enough to recognize and lament such travesties of our criminal justice system. The people in the system need to prevent future wrongful convictions against the accused and reform the system. Other common factors that lead to wrongful convictions can be of forensic science errors. A law should be enforced to allow the forensic team to test all results twice to avoid error. Correcting this cause will not only protect the innocent from being arrested, but also being harmed by the real perpetrator. Each time a person is wrongfully convicted, it means the real culprit is out there harming another person maybe causing another false accusation. The people who are innocent and were convicted of sex crime face exceptional hardship and severe punishments that impairs who they are. They get a prison term averaging 10 to 20 years in prison, a lifetime registry as a sex offender and possibly a strict lifetime probation. False allegations ruins and scars a persons ability to view life in general and to trust. It takes away their human right and confidence to live their life and blend in with the society because they will always feel like their being watched or judged.
PORTFOLIO: ESSAY 3 "THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE HOME"
My childhood years were the best times of my life especially growing up in the island of Palau. Palau is a small island located in the Micronesian Islands. There is no mall, no movie theatres and everyday when you wake up, it’s the same thing over and over again…at least now that I’m older I’ve realized that. It makes you feel that time is repeating itself every day except for the clothes you wear that changes. There’s nothing to do but hang out with friends and family all day long which was good. My house was the base of hangout for the little kids to the big kids and that’s just how it was. My house has a big yard and was equipped with basketball, ping pong, picnic areas, a place to play baseball and lots of big trees that gave us shade. Not only did we have all the fun and games but my parents were the coolest parents in town. My parents loved it when everybody came to the house. They said its better that we’re all here playing rather than having us wondering around which makes them worry. Unlike all the other parents, not once did my parents complain about us. For example, all my friends running in and out of the house, drinking our drinks, eating all our food, and making lots of noise…even late at night. My house became home to all the kids at my hometown.
Every day when my sisters, cousins and I wake up, all the kids are already outside playing and waiting for us. The everyday activities that we played were baseball, basketball, playing under the rain and wrestling in mud, tug of war, it, hide and seek, shark, bunny, in and out and etc. These were all my favorite activities especially when the sunsets, everybody gathers around telling scary stories. At a typical day we would mostly play basketball. After a while we would eat and relax for a moment because it’s too hot. After we’ve calmed down we would start climbing trees and getting mangos, guava, and star apple. After we’ve collected enough for us to munch on, we would sit at the top of our roof and eat. Around 4 o’clock p.m., that’s when it’s not so hot anymore, we’re back down running around playing “it”. After running too much we would play hide and sick as the older kids play basketball. As it gets shadier, the older kids have set up for playing baseball. We would all run and join them… most of the older kids would be our older brothers and or sisters and cousins. Around 7 P.M. it has gotten dark, that’s when we would all go our separate ways.
My sisters, cousins and I would all go home and take a shower and eat. After we’re done all the other kids are already outside the house waiting for us while all the big kids play basketball and ping pong. I would go and sit at the bench and keep track of scores. When the first game is over I would join in with the other kids and we would just chill and tell stories or sing. I, myself, get bored easily so I would move on and play ping pong with the older kids. I always loved it when the big kids are there with us. It makes me feel safe and of course they make it a lot more fun and makes our play time a lot longer. With the big kids around we would play until morning dawn yelling, laughing and talking loud and again my parents would never complain. Sometimes at night when the big kids aren’t around we would go to “Laundromat” and just chill and watch the cars roll on by. Cops would just show up out of nowhere and we would all start running away. Sometimes it gets so hard to run fast because I get so busy laughing at the police having a hard time catching us. With us plenty the police don’t know which way to go. Eventually they would give up and leave and we would all go back to Laundromat trying to catch our breath and laughing. Once the police have showed up and seen us we know that the game is on. As the police search other neighborhoods we would all plan out who’s going towards whose house and what not. After several minutes you would see a police car rolling down the hill fast as can be towards us. As soon as they stop the car that’s when we would start running away as fast as we can.
Every weekend my parents would pick up all the kids and we would go to the rock island to swim and B.B.Q. Sometimes we would overnight. I remember myself getting scared at night because it’s really dark. Just looking into the forest I would be thinking that a monster will soon jump out and get me. Oh how I stuck to my mom like glue. I being the youngest, everybody was very protective of me even to the point when one of my cousins tries to scare me they would get yelled at. That would just crack me up laughing. Even though I was scared I still loved to gather everybody around the bonfire and tell scary stories. Although when I got too scared I would quickly change the subject by telling a funny story which eases me. There were no complains of me changing the topic of the story… maybe they were all scared too. As soon as the sun rises I’m the first one up yelling, “Wake up everybody, lets swim!” Everybody would wake up and we would start swimming. The activities that we would play while swimming would be chicken fight, Bay Watch, shark and melaitus. Melaitus is a game where everybody would form one line and spread their legs. The person at the last would swim through everybody’s leg all the way to the front while those who are standing up are singing a song. As the tide is going low we would climb on to the branch of the trees and we would jump into the deep.
Now that I’m all grown up and I’ve moved here to the state, when I went back for a visit everything has changed. I was shocked to see kids now a day’s acting all mature, talking on their cell phones, having boyfriends and girlfriends, and most of all not wanting to get dirty. What really shocked me the most is that when it rains everybody are in their house not wanting to go outside and play in the mud…basically just being a kid. I personally would never trade my childhood with any of the childhood of today. Instead of enjoying life of being a kid, getting dirty, and not having the care and worries of the world their acting like an adult. All in all, nothing beats the feeling being at the island. After 4 years here in the state and going back home you feel this feeling of relief and relaxation. Your mind is empty with no worries and frustrations. So for those who need vacation to get away from everything, go to Palau. It’s expensive but once your there, it’s all worth it.
Every day when my sisters, cousins and I wake up, all the kids are already outside playing and waiting for us. The everyday activities that we played were baseball, basketball, playing under the rain and wrestling in mud, tug of war, it, hide and seek, shark, bunny, in and out and etc. These were all my favorite activities especially when the sunsets, everybody gathers around telling scary stories. At a typical day we would mostly play basketball. After a while we would eat and relax for a moment because it’s too hot. After we’ve calmed down we would start climbing trees and getting mangos, guava, and star apple. After we’ve collected enough for us to munch on, we would sit at the top of our roof and eat. Around 4 o’clock p.m., that’s when it’s not so hot anymore, we’re back down running around playing “it”. After running too much we would play hide and sick as the older kids play basketball. As it gets shadier, the older kids have set up for playing baseball. We would all run and join them… most of the older kids would be our older brothers and or sisters and cousins. Around 7 P.M. it has gotten dark, that’s when we would all go our separate ways.
My sisters, cousins and I would all go home and take a shower and eat. After we’re done all the other kids are already outside the house waiting for us while all the big kids play basketball and ping pong. I would go and sit at the bench and keep track of scores. When the first game is over I would join in with the other kids and we would just chill and tell stories or sing. I, myself, get bored easily so I would move on and play ping pong with the older kids. I always loved it when the big kids are there with us. It makes me feel safe and of course they make it a lot more fun and makes our play time a lot longer. With the big kids around we would play until morning dawn yelling, laughing and talking loud and again my parents would never complain. Sometimes at night when the big kids aren’t around we would go to “Laundromat” and just chill and watch the cars roll on by. Cops would just show up out of nowhere and we would all start running away. Sometimes it gets so hard to run fast because I get so busy laughing at the police having a hard time catching us. With us plenty the police don’t know which way to go. Eventually they would give up and leave and we would all go back to Laundromat trying to catch our breath and laughing. Once the police have showed up and seen us we know that the game is on. As the police search other neighborhoods we would all plan out who’s going towards whose house and what not. After several minutes you would see a police car rolling down the hill fast as can be towards us. As soon as they stop the car that’s when we would start running away as fast as we can.
Every weekend my parents would pick up all the kids and we would go to the rock island to swim and B.B.Q. Sometimes we would overnight. I remember myself getting scared at night because it’s really dark. Just looking into the forest I would be thinking that a monster will soon jump out and get me. Oh how I stuck to my mom like glue. I being the youngest, everybody was very protective of me even to the point when one of my cousins tries to scare me they would get yelled at. That would just crack me up laughing. Even though I was scared I still loved to gather everybody around the bonfire and tell scary stories. Although when I got too scared I would quickly change the subject by telling a funny story which eases me. There were no complains of me changing the topic of the story… maybe they were all scared too. As soon as the sun rises I’m the first one up yelling, “Wake up everybody, lets swim!” Everybody would wake up and we would start swimming. The activities that we would play while swimming would be chicken fight, Bay Watch, shark and melaitus. Melaitus is a game where everybody would form one line and spread their legs. The person at the last would swim through everybody’s leg all the way to the front while those who are standing up are singing a song. As the tide is going low we would climb on to the branch of the trees and we would jump into the deep.
Now that I’m all grown up and I’ve moved here to the state, when I went back for a visit everything has changed. I was shocked to see kids now a day’s acting all mature, talking on their cell phones, having boyfriends and girlfriends, and most of all not wanting to get dirty. What really shocked me the most is that when it rains everybody are in their house not wanting to go outside and play in the mud…basically just being a kid. I personally would never trade my childhood with any of the childhood of today. Instead of enjoying life of being a kid, getting dirty, and not having the care and worries of the world their acting like an adult. All in all, nothing beats the feeling being at the island. After 4 years here in the state and going back home you feel this feeling of relief and relaxation. Your mind is empty with no worries and frustrations. So for those who need vacation to get away from everything, go to Palau. It’s expensive but once your there, it’s all worth it.
PORTFOLIO: FINAL EXAM
As Nora Ephron states, “ I suspect there is just so much you can teach college students about revision;” it looks like she never came across revision. Nora thought that there’s nothing more to writing than just writing. For example, a raft draft and a final draft which is like a developmental stage of a 2-year-old as she has stated. Writing has stages to it and once you have mastered everything about writing, you become good at it. Writing is not an over-night situation that you just get used to and like it right away. It’s a step by step process and as you have come to understand the ups and down of writing, you will become a good writer.
In my situation, I can greatly compare myself to Nora’s situation. In the beginning of Writing 101 I never thought that writing an essay is basically like an argument. You write your own point of view oppose to the “They Say.” Before attending Writing 101, my perspective of writing an essay is to project my own voice to the readers and nothing more. But just like Nora said, " 2-year-old’s sudden ability to place one block on top of another--that comes along somewhat later." College is a much higher education and there's a lot more to learn about writing an essay and revision. There are a lot more teachers teaching in different writing classes and with this, different techniques on writing. Although with their different techniques, it all comes to one good essay. In Writing 101 I came to learn about other methods on writing an essay. For example, the “They Say, I Say” method. With this I came to learn the right way on quoting and how to support my argument with my own voice. The higher level you get, the more you learn and as you come to the end you are finished.
Although, in some of Nora’s situation didn't quite match my experience in Writing 101. In Writing 101, we always had to revise. And instead of just turning in our raft draft to the instructor, we posted them online. With this, the instructor and the students were able to comment on your paper which was good to get both the teacher and the student’s perspective. Having multiple people comment and help you on revising your essay, you become more open minded on what to write. Not only that they (instructor and students) give you ideas but help you with your grammars. English being my second language, I always have grammar error and with them commenting on my work, I learn more.
In my situation, I can greatly compare myself to Nora’s situation. In the beginning of Writing 101 I never thought that writing an essay is basically like an argument. You write your own point of view oppose to the “They Say.” Before attending Writing 101, my perspective of writing an essay is to project my own voice to the readers and nothing more. But just like Nora said, " 2-year-old’s sudden ability to place one block on top of another--that comes along somewhat later." College is a much higher education and there's a lot more to learn about writing an essay and revision. There are a lot more teachers teaching in different writing classes and with this, different techniques on writing. Although with their different techniques, it all comes to one good essay. In Writing 101 I came to learn about other methods on writing an essay. For example, the “They Say, I Say” method. With this I came to learn the right way on quoting and how to support my argument with my own voice. The higher level you get, the more you learn and as you come to the end you are finished.
Although, in some of Nora’s situation didn't quite match my experience in Writing 101. In Writing 101, we always had to revise. And instead of just turning in our raft draft to the instructor, we posted them online. With this, the instructor and the students were able to comment on your paper which was good to get both the teacher and the student’s perspective. Having multiple people comment and help you on revising your essay, you become more open minded on what to write. Not only that they (instructor and students) give you ideas but help you with your grammars. English being my second language, I always have grammar error and with them commenting on my work, I learn more.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
FINAL DRAFT: NO PLACE LIKE HOME
My childhood years were the best times of my life especially growing up in the island of Palau. Palau is a small island located in the Micronesian Islands. There is no mall, no movie theatres and everyday when you wake up, it’s the same thing over and over again…at least now that I’m older I’ve realized that. It makes you feel that time is repeating itself every day except for the clothes you wear that changes. There’s nothing to do but hang out with friends and family all day long which was good. My house was the base of hangout for the little kids to the big kids and that’s just how it was. My house has a big yard and was equipped with basketball, ping pong, picnic areas, a place to play baseball and lots of big trees that gave us shade. Not only did we have all the fun and games but my parents were the coolest parents in town. My parents loved it when everybody came to the house. They said its better that we’re all here playing rather than having us wondering around which makes them worry. Unlike all the other parents, not once did my parents complain about us. For example, all my friends running in and out of the house, drinking our drinks, eating all our food, and making lots of noise…even late at night. My house became home to all the kids at my hometown.
Every day when my sisters, cousins and I wake up, all the kids are already outside playing and waiting for us. The everyday activities that we played were baseball, basketball, playing under the rain and wrestling in mud, tug of war, it, hide and seek, shark, bunny, in and out and etc. These were all my favorite activities especially when the sunsets, everybody gathers around telling scary stories. At a typical day we would mostly play basketball. After a while we would eat and relax for a moment because it’s too hot. After we’ve calmed down we would start climbing trees and getting mangos, guava, and star apple. After we’ve collected enough for us to munch on, we would sit at the top of our roof and eat. Around 4 o’clock p.m., that’s when it’s not so hot anymore, we’re back down running around playing “it”. After running too much we would play hide and sick as the older kids play basketball. As it gets shadier, the older kids have set up for playing baseball. We would all run and join them… most of the older kids would be our older brothers and or sisters and cousins. Around 7 P.M. it has gotten dark, that’s when we would all go our separate ways.
My sisters, cousins and I would all go home and take a shower and eat. After we’re done all the other kids are already outside the house waiting for us while all the big kids play basketball and ping pong. I would go and sit at the bench and keep track of scores. When the first game is over I would join in with the other kids and we would just chill and tell stories or sing. I, myself, get bored easily so I would move on and play ping pong with the older kids. I always loved it when the big kids are there with us. It makes me feel safe and of course they make it a lot more fun and makes our play time a lot longer. With the big kids around we would play until morning dawn yelling, laughing and talking loud and again my parents would never complain. Sometimes at night when the big kids aren’t around we would go to “Laundromat” and just chill and watch the cars roll on by. Cops would just show up out of nowhere and we would all start running away. Sometimes it gets so hard to run fast because I get so busy laughing at the police having a hard time catching us. With us plenty the police don’t know which way to go. Eventually they would give up and leave and we would all go back to Laundromat trying to catch our breath and laughing. Once the police have showed up and seen us we know that the game is on. As the police search other neighborhoods we would all plan out who’s going towards whose house and what not. After several minutes you would see a police car rolling down the hill fast as can be towards us. As soon as they stop the car that’s when we would start running away as fast as we can.
Every weekend my parents would pick up all the kids and we would go to the rock island to swim and B.B.Q. Sometimes we would overnight. I remember myself getting scared at night because it’s really dark. Just looking into the forest I would be thinking that a monster will soon jump out and get me. Oh how I stuck to my mom like glue. I being the youngest, everybody was very protective of me even to the point when one of my cousins tries to scare me they would get yelled at. That would just crack me up laughing. Even though I was scared I still loved to gather everybody around the bonfire and tell scary stories. Although when I got too scared I would quickly change the subject by telling a funny story which eases me. There were no complains of me changing the topic of the story… maybe they were all scared too. As soon as the sun rises I’m the first one up yelling, “Wake up everybody, lets swim!” Everybody would wake up and we would start swimming. The activities that we would play while swimming would be chicken fight, Bay Watch, shark and melaitus. Melaitus is a game where everybody would form one line and spread their legs. The person at the last would swim through everybody’s leg all the way to the front while those who are standing up are singing a song. As the tide is going low we would climb on to the branch of the trees and we would jump into the deep.
Now that I’m all grown up and I’ve moved here to the state, when I went back for a visit everything has changed. I was shocked to see kids now a day’s acting all mature, talking on their cell phones, having boyfriends and girlfriends, and most of all not wanting to get dirty. What really shocked me the most is that when it rains everybody are in their house not wanting to go outside and play in the mud…basically just being a kid. I personally would never trade my childhood with any of the childhood of today. Instead of enjoying life of being a kid, getting dirty, and not having the care and worries of the world their acting like an adult. All in all, nothing beats the feeling being at the island. After 4 years here in the state and going back home you feel this feeling of relief and relaxation. Your mind is empty with no worries and frustrations. So for those who need vacation to get away from everything, go to Palau. It’s expensive but once your there, it’s all worth it.
Every day when my sisters, cousins and I wake up, all the kids are already outside playing and waiting for us. The everyday activities that we played were baseball, basketball, playing under the rain and wrestling in mud, tug of war, it, hide and seek, shark, bunny, in and out and etc. These were all my favorite activities especially when the sunsets, everybody gathers around telling scary stories. At a typical day we would mostly play basketball. After a while we would eat and relax for a moment because it’s too hot. After we’ve calmed down we would start climbing trees and getting mangos, guava, and star apple. After we’ve collected enough for us to munch on, we would sit at the top of our roof and eat. Around 4 o’clock p.m., that’s when it’s not so hot anymore, we’re back down running around playing “it”. After running too much we would play hide and sick as the older kids play basketball. As it gets shadier, the older kids have set up for playing baseball. We would all run and join them… most of the older kids would be our older brothers and or sisters and cousins. Around 7 P.M. it has gotten dark, that’s when we would all go our separate ways.
My sisters, cousins and I would all go home and take a shower and eat. After we’re done all the other kids are already outside the house waiting for us while all the big kids play basketball and ping pong. I would go and sit at the bench and keep track of scores. When the first game is over I would join in with the other kids and we would just chill and tell stories or sing. I, myself, get bored easily so I would move on and play ping pong with the older kids. I always loved it when the big kids are there with us. It makes me feel safe and of course they make it a lot more fun and makes our play time a lot longer. With the big kids around we would play until morning dawn yelling, laughing and talking loud and again my parents would never complain. Sometimes at night when the big kids aren’t around we would go to “Laundromat” and just chill and watch the cars roll on by. Cops would just show up out of nowhere and we would all start running away. Sometimes it gets so hard to run fast because I get so busy laughing at the police having a hard time catching us. With us plenty the police don’t know which way to go. Eventually they would give up and leave and we would all go back to Laundromat trying to catch our breath and laughing. Once the police have showed up and seen us we know that the game is on. As the police search other neighborhoods we would all plan out who’s going towards whose house and what not. After several minutes you would see a police car rolling down the hill fast as can be towards us. As soon as they stop the car that’s when we would start running away as fast as we can.
Every weekend my parents would pick up all the kids and we would go to the rock island to swim and B.B.Q. Sometimes we would overnight. I remember myself getting scared at night because it’s really dark. Just looking into the forest I would be thinking that a monster will soon jump out and get me. Oh how I stuck to my mom like glue. I being the youngest, everybody was very protective of me even to the point when one of my cousins tries to scare me they would get yelled at. That would just crack me up laughing. Even though I was scared I still loved to gather everybody around the bonfire and tell scary stories. Although when I got too scared I would quickly change the subject by telling a funny story which eases me. There were no complains of me changing the topic of the story… maybe they were all scared too. As soon as the sun rises I’m the first one up yelling, “Wake up everybody, lets swim!” Everybody would wake up and we would start swimming. The activities that we would play while swimming would be chicken fight, Bay Watch, shark and melaitus. Melaitus is a game where everybody would form one line and spread their legs. The person at the last would swim through everybody’s leg all the way to the front while those who are standing up are singing a song. As the tide is going low we would climb on to the branch of the trees and we would jump into the deep.
Now that I’m all grown up and I’ve moved here to the state, when I went back for a visit everything has changed. I was shocked to see kids now a day’s acting all mature, talking on their cell phones, having boyfriends and girlfriends, and most of all not wanting to get dirty. What really shocked me the most is that when it rains everybody are in their house not wanting to go outside and play in the mud…basically just being a kid. I personally would never trade my childhood with any of the childhood of today. Instead of enjoying life of being a kid, getting dirty, and not having the care and worries of the world their acting like an adult. All in all, nothing beats the feeling being at the island. After 4 years here in the state and going back home you feel this feeling of relief and relaxation. Your mind is empty with no worries and frustrations. So for those who need vacation to get away from everything, go to Palau. It’s expensive but once your there, it’s all worth it.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
REFLECTIVE LETTER
English being my second language, I've always struggled on understanding an essay and writing an essay. Coming from a small island, our school standards are very low and not once did we ever learn and write an essay. Beginning of my High School year, my family and I moved here for better education. With this doing so, it was a great transit for me especially in all of my classes. After years of hard work I became to understand how to write an essay, what's in an essay (thesis, introduction, body, and conclusion), and what's the point of writing an essay. After graduating from high school, I took a year off and went back home (Palau). With this long term off of school, my knowledge on writing a good essay started to fade away. I am now attending summer classes at Highline Community College and taking Writing 101.
With little knowledge stuck in my head, I was introduced to a whole new way of writing an essay and it is the “They Say, I Say” method. With this new concept introduced to me, I had a difficult time balancing and showing evidence and support on my “They Say and I say.” For example, in my essay “Personal Space,” most of what I wrote was “They Say” instead of a mix of “They Say, I Say.” For instance, I always start a new paragraph with “According to the Silicon Valley Blogger in Frugality, Real Estate, there are many advantages to living in a small home,” and, “Writing in the BBC NEWS/MAGAZINE, Sean Coughlan writes that...” With the “They Say” new to me, I get so focused on it I forget about my own voice (“I Say“).
Another struggle that I’ve always come across is grammar and self-confidence. English not being my native tongue, my sentences tend to be very simple. And due to lack of self-confidence, it holds me down from being open minded and afraid to write freely. Lack of self-confidence on my work makes me afraid that the readers won’t get what I’m writing. With this, I tend to over write. For example, “Everyday life a person associates with either family members, friends, or co-workers and in some cases all of them, but there comes a point in life where a person needs to have his or her own personal space to reflect on his or her well being.” Instead of writing it short and simple, I over write and it can get confusing to the readers.
Besides my weaknesses, I also have some strengths. One of my strengths is that instead of following other students on writing on the same view of the topic, I chose a different view which is eye catching to the readers. For example, on our Essay number 2, our instructor assigned our main topic to be about home and human rights. Most of the other students were focusing on criminals and how they should be punished and what not. Oppose to that, I chose a different route and went with “False Accusations.” With my view different from everybody else it definitely got their attention. It was something different for them to read. Another strength that I have come to obtain is to show examples that support my arguments about “False Accusations.” Couple examples that I used to support my arguments and got the readers hooked are: Michael Jackson and man imprisoned even though DNA proved they were innocent. With my essay different than theirs, it opened up their eyes to a different side of the view.
During this summer quarter I have come to learn many different ways and style on writing an essay. I have also come to realize a lot of my weaknesses and as I move forth to the next level of writing, I will improve my writing skills. And as I move to a higher level of writing, I will bring with me the knowledge that I have learned in this class to help my writing be more concise and effective.
With little knowledge stuck in my head, I was introduced to a whole new way of writing an essay and it is the “They Say, I Say” method. With this new concept introduced to me, I had a difficult time balancing and showing evidence and support on my “They Say and I say.” For example, in my essay “Personal Space,” most of what I wrote was “They Say” instead of a mix of “They Say, I Say.” For instance, I always start a new paragraph with “According to the Silicon Valley Blogger in Frugality, Real Estate, there are many advantages to living in a small home,” and, “Writing in the BBC NEWS/MAGAZINE, Sean Coughlan writes that...” With the “They Say” new to me, I get so focused on it I forget about my own voice (“I Say“).
Another struggle that I’ve always come across is grammar and self-confidence. English not being my native tongue, my sentences tend to be very simple. And due to lack of self-confidence, it holds me down from being open minded and afraid to write freely. Lack of self-confidence on my work makes me afraid that the readers won’t get what I’m writing. With this, I tend to over write. For example, “Everyday life a person associates with either family members, friends, or co-workers and in some cases all of them, but there comes a point in life where a person needs to have his or her own personal space to reflect on his or her well being.” Instead of writing it short and simple, I over write and it can get confusing to the readers.
Besides my weaknesses, I also have some strengths. One of my strengths is that instead of following other students on writing on the same view of the topic, I chose a different view which is eye catching to the readers. For example, on our Essay number 2, our instructor assigned our main topic to be about home and human rights. Most of the other students were focusing on criminals and how they should be punished and what not. Oppose to that, I chose a different route and went with “False Accusations.” With my view different from everybody else it definitely got their attention. It was something different for them to read. Another strength that I have come to obtain is to show examples that support my arguments about “False Accusations.” Couple examples that I used to support my arguments and got the readers hooked are: Michael Jackson and man imprisoned even though DNA proved they were innocent. With my essay different than theirs, it opened up their eyes to a different side of the view.
During this summer quarter I have come to learn many different ways and style on writing an essay. I have also come to realize a lot of my weaknesses and as I move forth to the next level of writing, I will improve my writing skills. And as I move to a higher level of writing, I will bring with me the knowledge that I have learned in this class to help my writing be more concise and effective.
Monday, August 11, 2008
RAFT DRAFT: NO PLACE LIKE HOME
My childhood years were the best times of my life especially growing up in the island of Palau. Palau is a small island located in the Micronesian Islands. There is no mall, no movie theatres and everyday when you wake up, it’s the same thing over and over again…at least now that I’m older I’ve realized that. It makes you feel that time is repeating itself every day except for the clothes you wear that changes. There’s nothing to do but hang out with friends and family all day long which was good. My house was the base of hangout for the little kids to the big kids and that’s just how it was. My house has a big yard and was equipped with basketball, ping pong, picnic areas, a place to play baseball and lots of big trees that gave us shade. Not only did we have all the fun and games but my parents were the coolest parents in town. My parents loved it when everybody came to the house. They said its better that we’re all here playing rather than having us wondering around which makes them worry. Unlike all the other parents, not once did my parents complain about us. For example, all my friends running in and out of the house, drinking our drinks, eating all our food, and making lots of noise…even late at night. My house became home to all the kids at my hometown.
Every day when my sisters, cousins and I wake up, all the kids are already outside playing and waiting for us. The everyday activities that we played were baseball, basketball, playing under the rain and wrestling in mud, tug of war, it, hide and seek, shark, bunny, in and out and etc. These were all my favorite activities especially when the sunsets, everybody gathers around telling scary stories. At a typical day we would mostly play basketball. After a while we would eat and relax for a moment because it’s too hot. After we’ve calmed down we would start climbing trees and getting mangos, guava, and star apple. After we’ve collected enough for us to munch on, we would sit at the top of our roof and eat. Around 4 o’clock p.m., that’s when it’s not so hot anymore, we’re back down running around playing “it”. After running too much we would play hide and sick as the older kids play basketball. As it gets shadier, the older kids have set up for playing baseball. We would all run and join them… most of the older kids would be our older brothers and or sisters and cousins.Around 7 P.M. it has gotten dark, that’s when we would all go our separate ways.
My sisters, cousins and I would all go home and take a shower and eat. After we’re done all the other kids are already outside the house waiting for us while all the big kids play basketball and ping pong. I would go and sit at the bench and keep track of scores. When the first game is over I would join in with the other kids and we would just chill and tell stories or sing. I, myself, get bored easily so I would move on and play ping pong with the older kids. I always loved it when the big kids are there with us. It makes me feel safe and of course they make it a lot more fun and makes our play time a lot longer. With the big kids around we would play until morning dawn yelling, laughing and talking loud and again my parents would never complain. Sometimes at night when the big kids aren’t around we would go to “Laundromat” and just chill and watch the cars roll on by. Cops would just show up out of nowhere and we would all start running away. Sometimes it gets so hard to run fast because I get so busy laughing at police having a hard time catching us. With us plenty the police don’t know which way to go. Eventually they would give up and leave and we would all go back to Laundromat trying to catch our breath and laughing. Once the police have showed up and seen us we know that the game is on. As the police search other neighborhoods we would all plan out who’s going towards whose house and what not. After several minutes you would see a police car rolling down the hill fast as can be towards us. As soon as they stop the car that’s when we would start running away as fast as we can.
Every weekend my parents would pick up all the kids and we would go to the rock island to swim and B.B.Q. Sometimes we would overnight. I remember myself getting scared at night because it’s really dark and just looking into the forest I would be thinking that a monster will soon jump out and get me. Oh how I stuck to my mom like glue. I being the youngest everybody was very protective of me even to the point when one of my cousins tries to scare me they would get yelled at. That would just crack me up laughing. Even though I was scared I still loved to gather everybody around the bonfire and tell scary stories. Although when I got too scared I would quickly change the subject by telling a funny story which eases me. There were no complains of me changing the topic of the story… maybe they were all scared too. As soon as the sun rises I’m the first one up yelling, “Wake up everybody, lets swim!” Everybody would wake up and we would start swimming. The activities that we would play while swimming would be chicken fight, Bay Watch, shark and melaitus. Melaitus is a game where everybody would form one line and spread their legs. The person at the last would swim through everybody’s leg all the way to the front while those who are standing up are singing a song. As the tide is going low we would climb on to the branch of the trees and we would jump into the deep.
Now that I’m all grown up and I’ve moved here to the state, when I went back for a visit everything has changed. I was shocked to see kids now a day’s acting all mature, talking on their cell phones, having boyfriends and girlfriends, and most of all not wanting to get dirty. What really shocked me the most is that when it rains everybody are in their house not wanting to go outside and play in the mud…basically just being a kid. I personally would never trade my childhood with any of the childhood of today. Instead of enjoying life of being a kid and getting dirty and not having the care and worries of the would just enjoying yourself, their acting like an adult. All in all, nothing beats the feeling being at the island. After 4 years here in the state and going back home you feel this feeling of relief and relaxation. Your mind is empty with no worries and frustrations. So for those who need vacation to get away from everything, go to Palau. It’s expensive but once your there, it’s all worth it.
Every day when my sisters, cousins and I wake up, all the kids are already outside playing and waiting for us. The everyday activities that we played were baseball, basketball, playing under the rain and wrestling in mud, tug of war, it, hide and seek, shark, bunny, in and out and etc. These were all my favorite activities especially when the sunsets, everybody gathers around telling scary stories. At a typical day we would mostly play basketball. After a while we would eat and relax for a moment because it’s too hot. After we’ve calmed down we would start climbing trees and getting mangos, guava, and star apple. After we’ve collected enough for us to munch on, we would sit at the top of our roof and eat. Around 4 o’clock p.m., that’s when it’s not so hot anymore, we’re back down running around playing “it”. After running too much we would play hide and sick as the older kids play basketball. As it gets shadier, the older kids have set up for playing baseball. We would all run and join them… most of the older kids would be our older brothers and or sisters and cousins.Around 7 P.M. it has gotten dark, that’s when we would all go our separate ways.
My sisters, cousins and I would all go home and take a shower and eat. After we’re done all the other kids are already outside the house waiting for us while all the big kids play basketball and ping pong. I would go and sit at the bench and keep track of scores. When the first game is over I would join in with the other kids and we would just chill and tell stories or sing. I, myself, get bored easily so I would move on and play ping pong with the older kids. I always loved it when the big kids are there with us. It makes me feel safe and of course they make it a lot more fun and makes our play time a lot longer. With the big kids around we would play until morning dawn yelling, laughing and talking loud and again my parents would never complain. Sometimes at night when the big kids aren’t around we would go to “Laundromat” and just chill and watch the cars roll on by. Cops would just show up out of nowhere and we would all start running away. Sometimes it gets so hard to run fast because I get so busy laughing at police having a hard time catching us. With us plenty the police don’t know which way to go. Eventually they would give up and leave and we would all go back to Laundromat trying to catch our breath and laughing. Once the police have showed up and seen us we know that the game is on. As the police search other neighborhoods we would all plan out who’s going towards whose house and what not. After several minutes you would see a police car rolling down the hill fast as can be towards us. As soon as they stop the car that’s when we would start running away as fast as we can.
Every weekend my parents would pick up all the kids and we would go to the rock island to swim and B.B.Q. Sometimes we would overnight. I remember myself getting scared at night because it’s really dark and just looking into the forest I would be thinking that a monster will soon jump out and get me. Oh how I stuck to my mom like glue. I being the youngest everybody was very protective of me even to the point when one of my cousins tries to scare me they would get yelled at. That would just crack me up laughing. Even though I was scared I still loved to gather everybody around the bonfire and tell scary stories. Although when I got too scared I would quickly change the subject by telling a funny story which eases me. There were no complains of me changing the topic of the story… maybe they were all scared too. As soon as the sun rises I’m the first one up yelling, “Wake up everybody, lets swim!” Everybody would wake up and we would start swimming. The activities that we would play while swimming would be chicken fight, Bay Watch, shark and melaitus. Melaitus is a game where everybody would form one line and spread their legs. The person at the last would swim through everybody’s leg all the way to the front while those who are standing up are singing a song. As the tide is going low we would climb on to the branch of the trees and we would jump into the deep.
Now that I’m all grown up and I’ve moved here to the state, when I went back for a visit everything has changed. I was shocked to see kids now a day’s acting all mature, talking on their cell phones, having boyfriends and girlfriends, and most of all not wanting to get dirty. What really shocked me the most is that when it rains everybody are in their house not wanting to go outside and play in the mud…basically just being a kid. I personally would never trade my childhood with any of the childhood of today. Instead of enjoying life of being a kid and getting dirty and not having the care and worries of the would just enjoying yourself, their acting like an adult. All in all, nothing beats the feeling being at the island. After 4 years here in the state and going back home you feel this feeling of relief and relaxation. Your mind is empty with no worries and frustrations. So for those who need vacation to get away from everything, go to Palau. It’s expensive but once your there, it’s all worth it.
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